Have You Seen This Cat?

Before any of you wiseacres say , “ Technically yes , now I have , ” just take a sec and mean , because there ’s a very distressed human beings in Portland , Oregon who would like to be reunited with this freehanded feline .

The computerized axial tomography in motion came to our tending via a cause , which , if you ’re intimate with effectual filing , tend to start with dry language like , “ Plaintiff hereby affirms and alleges … ”This one , however , kicks off with a full , color photo of Frank , a three - twelvemonth - old computerized tomography , brim with the sort of cocky indifference all cats seem to master at birth .

As you might guessed , Frank is missing . Normally this is the kind of problem that merits staple “ lose ” posters to telephone poles instead of a suit — and , for what it ’s worth , that ’s an avenue Frank ’s possessor has explored . But On Information And Belief , Joshua Smith , who rescue his “ best ally and life fellow traveller ” as a stray in a parking lot three yr back , claims his own landlord entered his apartment without notice and took Frank in a brazen act of catnapping .

Screenshot: Multnomah County Circuit Court

Smithtold The Oregonianthat his landlord even accept to the feline crime , adding , “ Is n’t that totally messed up ? ”

Smith says he has n’t go through Frank since . And just seem at this beautiful cat , I cuss to god , he ’s fucking smirking — not unlike my editors , who allot this story to me knowing full well it had absolutely nothing to do with engineering and that a not - unimportant part of me dies every time I ’m made to blog fun but irrelevant intelligence stories . My torment is their joy , heartfelt readers .

At this point I could argue that Technology — like uh , websites , or the sprawling mess of an online motor lodge system we ’re saddled with — enables weird local news chronicle like this one to joyously proliferate among a wide hearing than ever before . And that the betting odds of this guy getting his cute computerized axial tomography back are probably dramatically greater today than they would be in a hypothetical , pre - cyberspace , control test version of this scenario . I could argue that , but I absolutely will not .

Argentina’s President Javier Milei (left) and Robert F. Kennedy Jr., holding a chainsaw in a photo posted to Kennedy’s X account on May 27. 2025.

Smith is demand up to $ 250,000 in redress for the disappearing of Frank with intent to “ bring down severe emotional distress . ” $ 250,000 is , for the record , more than what some apartments in the area have sell for — which seems fair enough to me .

You , however , have the ability to put this whole rigamarole to rest by , well , returning Frank . Have you seen him ? Do you really not want the $ 500 reinforcement Smith is offering ? Wo n’t you put an end to his ( and my ) suffering ?

[ Oregon Live ]

William Duplessie